In honor of the 50th year of James Bond and the first (not o mention the second) Academy Awards won by a Bond film, I think it’s only appropriate to rank the Bond films from first to 23rd. I’m not including the first Casino Royale or Never Say Never Again, but just the Eon Productions, because…well…I’m making the list, so we’re using my rules.
I’m sure there will be disagreements, but…hey, it’s the Internet. Whatcha gonna do?
23. Octopussy – 007…in clown makeup. Full stop.
22. Licence to Kill – Not abad movie, but a bad Bond movie. This movie was one of the two that nearly killed the franchise. If you had replaced James Bond with Crockett and Felix Leiter with Tubbs, it would have made a good Miami Vice movie, but not a Bond film.
21. Die Another Day – The other one that nearly ended the franchise. Even Roger Moore questioned the amount of willing suspension of disbelief necessary to handle the invisible car…and he played James Bond IN SPACE!
20. Moonraker – Speaking of James Bond IN SPACE. Another one that was pretty good (for a campy sci-fi flick), just not a good Bond movie. On the other hand, it gave us Dr. Holly Goodhead, which places it ahead of those others.
19. Quantum of Solace – Good action flick, subpar Bond film. Th4 fact that the script was cobbled together by Daniel Craig and director Marc Forster during filming (cobbling done due to the writers’ strike at the time) is probably what keeps it ahead of those others. Basically, it has an excuse.
18. The World is Not Enough – I can’t think of TWINE without thinking two words: Christmas Jones. In what is a decent Bond outing, although not a great one, Denise Richards does a truly terrible job of convincing me she’s a nuclear physicist. (I also just noticed, looking ahead on my list, that Pierce Brosnan started off strong and faded in the stretch…it’s too bad, really).
17. For Your Eyes Only – I actually feel bad for this low of a ranking, because For Your Eyes ONly is not a bad movie. It’s not even a bad Bond film. It’s got a solid plot with decent characters. It’s got a lot of call-backs to earlier Bond films. It just doesn’t play well. It’s just forgettable.
16. The Man with the Golden Gun – Dracula….I mean, Christopher Lee’s Scaramanga tries to assassinate James Bond. With a golden gun. But Bond had a flying car. So, that makes it even…right?
15. The Living Daylights – Roger Moore left and Timothy Dalton arrived. Then, Dalton sledded down a mountain on a cello…a cello that got shot. A decent Bond film, a pretty good espionage film. It just had the potential to be better..
14. You Only Live Twice – The worst of the Sean Connery films, mainly because of the fact that Sean was obviously sick of playing the role. He would return in one later film (after a one-movie break). But, in this one, we’re supposed to believe that James Bond can make people think he’s Japanese. And that he’s a ninja. Yeah, it’s pretty much the ninja part that makes this movie even watchable. Because everything’s better with ninjas….right?
13. Tomorrow Never Dies – I can really enjoy this movie. It’s got a good plot, an interesting villain, and two sexy “Bond Girls” in Teri Hatcher and Michelle Yeoh. Brosnan plays a suave James Bond. Not as good as his first performance, but pretty good nonetheless.
12. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service – This one gets poo-pooed a lot for some reason. I figure it’s because of George Lazenby (“This never happened to the other fellow.”). This film showcased Bond’s emotional depth and gave us Telly Savalas as a very good Blofeld. And then, Bond gets married and his wife gets murdered. It was a powerful ending.
11. A View to a Kill – James Bond vs. Christopher Walken. The only part that bothered me was Roger Moore showering with a woman 30 years his junior. That was enough to put it down a few spots on the list. But, it does end up just outside the Top Ten.
10. Diamonds are Forever – I know this is probably an unpopular call, as many critics seem to hate this one, the return of Connery (his ONLY return, so far as I’m concerned) made it worthwhile to me. Plus, it was in Vegas.
9. The Spy Who Loved Me – A truly enjoyable movie and a terrific song to go with it (“Nobody Does it Better” by Carly Simon….did Carly Simon do any other songs on her own?). Oh, and a car that turns into a submarine (not a big fan of the Lotus in general, but I want this one). Oh, and Jaws. Oh, and 007 skis….off a cliff and lands with a parachute….that looks like the Union Jack. I don’t think anything else needs to be said.
8. Thunderball – This film was the innovator of the “Standard Movie Terrorist Ploy”: SPECTRE steals a couple of nukes and holds the world ransom. Also, the rebreather device that Bond uses was a head-fake; Connery was just holding his breath.
7. Live and Let Die – Roger Moore’s debut as Bond, with Yaphet Kotto as a heroin kingpin who uses voodoo as a way to keep his followers in line and the curious away, was a great story. Throw in a terrific speedboat chase and the second-best Bond song (by which I mean the ones that were written for specific films; I’m not counting the Bond theme, which is obviously the best Bond song of all time), and you’ve got Roger Moore’s best performance.
6. Casino Royale – All criticisms of the casting of Daniel Craig (“James Blond” wa my favorite) ended when he turned around and shot his “first kill” (the guy he beat up in a Paris bathroom). Or, at least they should have. Craig proved himself more than equal to the role in an updated version of the original Bond tale. This is an absolutely fantastic movie.
5. GoldenEye – Pierce Brosnan finally became Bond and Dame Judi Dench became the third “M” in series history. And Sean Bean had a big satellite dish built in Cuba to direct the eponymous GoldenEye, an EMP weapon he woulduse to wreck the British economy (it was also the name of Ian Fleming’s home in the Bahamas). This was a new Bond for a new time.
4. Dr. No – The first Bond film is one of the best. Sean Connery utters his first “Bond. James Bond.” and we get so many of the terrific firsts that we became used to. Plus, Bond’s Aston-Martin DB5 is one of the coolest cars ever.
3. From Russia with Love – This is the best example of a pure espionage film in the franchise. It also features the first appearances of “Q” and Blofeld. It truly deserves its status as one of the truly iconic Bond films.
1a. Skyfall – I almost listed this one as my top pick, but it must be seen whether or not it stands tye test of time. For what it’s worth, it has the best Bond opening credits song and was the first Bond film to win an Oscar (it won two: one for sound editing and one for Adele’s theme song). By the end of the film, there’s a new “Q”, a new “M”, and a new Moneypenny. And it has Silva, one of the three best Bond villains of all time, and the return of the aforementioned Aston-Martin DB5. Oh, and there are the three most awesome words uttered in a Bond film: “Welcome to Scotland!”
1. Goldfinger – This is the best one there is. Goldfinger combines a terrific plot, a great suit (three-piece gray with a black tie), the top villain (the eponymous Goldfinger), the best name for a “Bond Girl” ever (“My name is Pussy…Pussy Galore.”), a powerful theme song by a true diva (Dame Shirley Bassey), and Fort Frickin’ Knox. Oh, and, “Do you expect me to talk?” “No, Mr. Bond. Iexpect you to die.” This is the most-often spoofed and mocked Bond film in the franchise, but it’s always done lovingly. “He loves gooooooollllllldd”, indeed.
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